Marrying even within your own culture can be a challenging experience. Once you get past the wedding day and the romance you are left with the everyday task of loving somebody who is not like you. Differences can be a source of inspiration or conflict.
But what are the challenges of marry into another culture?
A desire to understand another’s culture will not prevent conflict. You have your own cultural beliefs that you bring to a relationship and you will in the first instance use that framework to judge a person or situation. However it is important to gather as much information about your partner’s culture as you can. For example their rituals, their religious beliefs, the role of extended family in your partner’s life and how much autonomy does your partner have in making decisions for their life. People in the West have a great deal of independence from their extended families. Those in the East value close family relationships. This will impact on your relationship.
Do not assume your partner is going to change with gentle persuasion from you. This is probably a mistake people make generally in relationships. People need to be accepted for themselves and if you need to change somebody to ensure you can have a relationship with them, it begs the question why choose the person in the first place. That’s not to say that change will not occur as you spend more time getting to know someone and what they want in the relationship. Trying to change someone’s cultural tendencies will create more unnecessary conflict.
There are many situations that arise in life that call for us to draw on ‘common-sense’ ways to deal with them. That common-sense is made up of our past experience, our habits, our value systems and our taken for granted ways of how to react to things that happen in our life even small things. Remember you and your partner do not possess the same common-sense view of the world. In some situations like how to eat food correctly or what to do in a temple, choosing the ‘when in Rome’ approach can save a lot of unnecessary conflict. But there are some things that are not so easy to solve by using this approach especially if they call into question fundamental values and beliefs. Again just because you choose to live in your partner’s country does not mean you have to compromise who you are.
The answer to all of the above conundrums and potential areas of conflict is to communicate. Be prepared to talk about issues in your relationship particularly in the ‘getting to know you stage’. Then make a commitment to communicate throughout your relationship. Never make assumptions, particularly in a cross-cultural relationship.
Discuss issues like how much free time is normal in a relationship. Discuss your finances and whether both of you are going to work. How will you raise children? Where are you going to live and will there be the enough job opportunities for whoever is going to work. Communication is the secret to avoiding unnecessary conflict and to resolving conflict should it arise. Some cultures are more adept at direct communication than others. Nevertheless without some degree of commitment to discussing issues being made, your chances of a successful relationship become less and less.
One practical way a couple can find out if they want to enter into a cross-cultural marriage is for either partner to seek a fiancée visa. A period of time in your partner’s country will allow you the space to really get to know your partner and their culture and will provide sufficient information for you to choose whether you want to marry your partner. Bringing your partner from the Philippines on a fiancée visa to the USA? Check out the relevant websites for information on the completion of the K1 visa application form.
By: Duane Beadle
Posts Tagged ‘Desire’
Cross-cultural Personal Relationships
November 26th, 2009International Business Online – 3 Types of Cultural Communication Gets You More International Sales
August 21st, 2009You can’t learn to ride a bike without… well, a bike. Can you?
International business involves cross cultural communication. It is the inherent nature of the business.
To develop good cross cultural communication skills you need foreign communication exposure. With people. Live.
Cultural skills are fairly easy to develop. But you can’t pick them up reading books. You need hands on practice. Most people only need the desire to communicate with other cultures and some practice to put them on the right track.
But good cross cultural communication skills are not easy to develop if you are an online business without much direct contact with your foreign clients.
If all the cross cultural communication you are getting is through emails or order requests, this is how you are going to pick up the skills. There is simply not enough cultural interaction to actually learn with.
But what can you do if you want to get more international sales? Is there anything you can do to help your online business communicate better with your international prospects and clients?
Well you still need to learn from exposure. But you can laser focus your efforts and make progress.
First, you need to identify the three basic components of cultural communication:
International Communication
International Communication can include all aspects of international communication.
But online, it all begins with adapting your own communication for international audiences.
Make the effort to adapt your all of your communication to speak to all international visitors as well as your domestic market.
Simply make a concentrated effort not to cut out your international visitors by ignoring them.
International communication at this level is more about awareness and being universally polite in written communication. It is is the small details.
Multicultural Communication
Multicultural Communication is when your communication speaks effectively across a wide scope of cultures.
For example you can use International English to target the international English-speaking world.
Multicultural Communication may not be the best solution for your domestic market. Your domestic market might have a very strong sales message that would be weakened by communication aimed at multicultural markets.
You may or may not decide on creating two specific communication strategies: one for your domestic market and one for a wide international market.
This is often obvious to implement in non-English speaking countries. Their local communication in their native language, and their international communication in English for wide multicultural audiences.
It can be an interesting option for American companies, for example, to use International English for a wide international marketing campaign.
This could be an initial option. But this needs to be evaluated carefully. Most international marketing is aimed at specific cultures and countries once the markets are identified.
Cross Cultural Communication
Cross Cultural Communication is about targeting your communication to one particular culture.
This step in international communication requires more specific market knowledge. Your message is totally adapted to one specific cultural environment.
It can be used for effective target marketing in a specific country or ethnic group for example.
The bad news for online businesses is that you really do need some cultural exposure to get it right.
The good news?
Online businesses have the advantage of being able to test, track and analyze statistics. This will help in tweaking cross cultural communication.
If you have identified a country with a large enough market, creating cross cultural communication and working extensively with the statistics will probably be worth the time and effort.
Build On International Exposure
By focusing on each of the three types of cultural communication, you will be able to identify what you are currently doing. You will see where you need to improve international communication.
Use any contact with your international prospects and clients to see what you can do to improve the area you are weakest at.
The more exposure you get with your international markets, the more you will see how you need to adapt your communication. And practice is all it takes.
Your cultural communication skills will improve with time. And before you know it your skills will become as automatic as knowing how to ride a bike.
Are you committed to speeding up your international sales cycles?
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Are you a beginner at international sales and marketing?
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By: Cindy King
