Posts Tagged ‘Peers’

Better Communication Skills — Silence and Violence

January 28th, 2010

Introduction

Leaders need to seek better communication skills not only for themselves and their leadership teams, but as part of the organization’s culture.  Successful change management requires getting everyone moving in one new direction.   

People will be talking with one another while you’re trying to drive change.  As a leader, you want to make sure those conversations are out in the open so that objections can be addressed and people will grow confident in your leadership. 

Better Communication Skills at the Organization Level 

What do we mean when we talk about the communication skills of an organization?  At the individual level, we know how to describe communication skills.  We talk about someone’s style, their subject matter knowledge, their ability to adapt their message to their target audience, their preparation, etc. 

In an organization, better communication skills are something we seek to build in the culture.  To be specific, we’re seeking to create a cultural norm of frequent, open dialogue.  When that’s the norm, people feel safe in raising concerns and objections, knowing that they will be heard.  

They also recognize that they are obligated to participate in dialogue, whether in meetings or less formally among their peers.  It’s part of their job, making sure they are contributing not only their labor but their expertise, insight and ideas whenever possible. 

Leaders need to look out for the two biggest barriers to better communication skills in an organization: silence and violence. 

Recognizing Silence 

Very simply, silence means people are not participating in the dialogue.  Said another way, important conversations are not happening because people are choosing not to engage in them. 

Why is silence a problem? 

Hopefully you’ve hired smart people.  It only makes sense, then, that you want and need the insights of those smart people when you’re leading a change program.  Smart people always have thoughts and opinions.  When they go silent, you lose the benefit of knowing those thoughts and opinions. 

Besides not having the input, when people are silent you don’t know where they stand.  Do they understand what you are trying to accomplish?  Are they committed to working with you and your team, or do they have reservations?  Without clear understanding and commitment, how will you bring these people along with you? 

Addressing Silence 

First and foremost, make sure you’ve created an environment where it’s safe to speak out.  Many people who turn to silence do so because they feel they may be ignored or worse yet criticized for speaking up.   

Examine your behavior — what do you do when you are challenged?  Do you fight back right away?  Or do you give considered answers and act respectful when you disagree with the challenger?  Check the same behaviors in your leadership team, and within the organization in general.  You’ve got to make it safe for people to engage.  Your behavior will set the tone. 

If you’re sure it’s safe and you see individuals are still reluctant to add their input to the dialogue of the organization, coach them individually.  Let them know how much their input is valued and needed, and thank them when they open up. 

Recognizing Violence 

In this context, violence can be described as the tendency of one or a few individuals to dominate conversations.  When there is violence, there is no chance for open dialogue.  The dominators, if there are more than one, may argue their points without effectively listening to one another.  And those who are not dominating the conversation will end up going silent, out of frustration or boredom. 

So in the end, violence begets silence.  How do you address violence? 

As a leader, maintain your own objectivity.  You’re a participant in the conversations taking place, but you must also be an observer.  Learn to step out of the discussion from time to time and assess what’s happening.  If you observe individuals dominating to the point where others are checking out, you need to intervene. 

The degree of intervention depends on just how “violent” the dialogue is getting.  It can be as simple as reminding someone to ease up a little and open themselves up to push back from others.  Or it can go all the way to having to call a time out and taking people aside to help them see that their passion is overwhelming others and suppressing good dialogue. 

The Result of Silence and Violence 

One of two things is going to happen when you don’t have open dialogue in which everyone is actively engaged.



You’ll stall. Some strong people will argue and debate ad infinitum, while others check out.  And your change strategy goes no where.



You’ll move forward.  Not everyone will be participating, but strong people will drive and dominate the dialogue and the resulting actions. 



 

Stalling will be very clear to you, and you’ll need to intervene to create safety, get people engaged, help break logjams, etc. 

Moving forward might not seem so bad, but beware.  Depending on just how many people have gone silent, there may be a time bomb in your implementation plan.  When things go wrong, as they do in any change initiative, there will be a number of people who will have effectively positioned themselves to wash their hands of all responsibility.   

As we noted earlier, just because they go silent doesn’t mean they don’t have input and opinions.  When the plan goes forward and they’ve been shouted down, or chose not to engage because they felt it wasn’t safe, they will be in a position to say “that wasn’t my idea”.   

Even though such behavior should be unacceptable, it happens way too often.  Prevent it by setting expectations around organizational communication, specifically creating a shared value for open, honest dialogue without repercussion or disrespect.

 




By: Tom O\’Dea

Teen Community, a Second Home Online

January 24th, 2010

A teen wants to explore various issues related to teenagers such as friends and family, dating and relationship, teen sexuality, teen celebrity, fashion, food and health, teen health, sports and education, debates, advice and other related topics, and all of these are found in a teen community. If a teenager cannot get information from his parents for obvious reasons, he can always go to the teen community.

A teen community allows a teenager to enjoy a safe, fun life experiences with other teens all over the world. Thanks to advance technology, it is now possible for a teenager to interact with his peers, others he know but most he only sees in pictures and videos. If distance has barred teenagers from knowing other teens and relate to them their dreams, thanks to the teen community, teenagers now has unlimited resources to know the lives of other teenagers from various lands and cultures.

A teen community can be accessed online. What a teenager does is visit the site, register, fill in the required information, login and viola, the other teens are within his reach.

The teen community, in living up to its principle as a second home, has set regulations to police the teens and impose parental guidance. The internet is a dangerous medium if teenagers are given unlimited access to sites which are deplorable and not suited to them. This is where the teen community can assure the parents that it guides the teenagers in sharing their experiences and making their own choices in the most healthy and wholesome manner.

A Teen Community sets out rules which must be followed by the members, and a violation of these rules causes the members to be banned or suspended. A member of the teen community has to respect the rights and culture of fellow members. Teenagers have customs that are different from each other and respect is a must. Some teen communities allow photos to be shared, while others prohibit this. In most cases, the actual personal information such as home address and phone numbers cannot be given. The essence is to avoid the interaction to become too personalized. Giving information of other members is not also allowed in respect to the privacy of others.

A teen wants to communicate and writing is one of the best media. A teen community ensures that all contents, communication, and behavior are within “PG” guidelines. Vulgar language, nudity, depictions of sex and strong violence are prohibited Harassment in whatever form is not allowed. By harassment we mean communicating or behaving in an offensive, intimidating or threatening way towards the other members of the community. This is noteworthy because it helps the teenagers develop a wholesome personality while in the teen community.

Although debates and discussions are encouraged in a teen community, these must be done within the rules. Teens are informed that debates must be on issues, and never on personalities.

The allowable age in a Teen Community is ages 13 to 17 only, although some are for 18 years old and over. Most teen communities allow the visits of some adults purposely to help the teenagers such as leading educational projects and counseling.

Much to the good things that Teen Communities offer to the children, there is still no place like home. Parents must always provide the environment of sharing, respect, trust and love that a teen wants. After all, no agency, not even the teen community, has more responsibilities than the parents.




By: Sushil Kumar Singh Raghav

Leadership Development — Create a Culture of Dialogue

December 14th, 2009

Introduction 

In any organization, people are talking.  They talk about life, work, careers, and their bosses.  Yes, they are talking about you; count on it.   Are these conversations helping or hurting your ability to get results?  

What is Effective Communication? 

Leadership development efforts tend to focus on setting clear goals, hiring the right people, clearing obstacles, and communicating effectively.  But the leader’s ability to communicate is only part of the challenge.  How can a leader influence the conversations taking place when he or she isn’t there? 

Effective communications in a business are not limited to the leader’s ability to make good speeches, write effective emails and hold town hall meetings.  All of these things are valuable, but only to the extent that they impact other conversations.  After every speech or town hall meeting, people go off and talk among themselves.  What are they saying about your agenda?   

What if you could control all of those conversations? 

Well, You Can’t… 

Face it, control is a bit too much to ask for.  What you can have is the next best thing.  You can have confidence that people are talking about the things you need them to be discussing, and doing it openly.  To do that, you need to create a culture of dialogue. 

Culture simply refers to behavioral norms, so a culture of dialogue is one in which everyone is comfortable and expected to be engaging in conversations about their work, their work processes, and their leadership.  When the culture encourages open dialogue, it effectively shuts down destructive conversations, hidden agendas and other debilitating behaviors. 

In a culture of dialogue, it is safe — and you are encouraged — to say what you think.  People who tend toward silence are drawn in by peers who want to know what they’re thinking.  Key Opinion Leaders are identified and respected, and they make sure the leadership is getting honest, objective feedback on not only their leadership agenda, but on their behavior as well. 

Leadership Behavior 

Your ability to create a culture of dialogue is dependent on your own behavior.  What do you do when your plans are challenged?  What do you do when you make a mistake?   

Too many leaders have to be right.  They shout down challengers.  And let’s be clear, when you’re the leader “shout down” is not a literal term.  You can use your position to dismiss a challenger, and even ignore them.  It’s the same as shouting them down. 

To create a culture of dialogue, be willing to sacrifice your ego.  Your goals and agenda are important, your pride is not.  Be open to feedback.  Acknowledging critical feedback will have a huge impact on the culture, even if you don’t act on the criticism.  And you should only act on the criticism if, after careful consideration, you believe it is warranted.  You don’t need to be a wimp to create a culture of dialogue! 

For your part, make sure you criticize behavior first.  Don’t criticize or discipline people for anything other than bad behavior.  To create a culture of dialogue, your number one job is to make it safe for people to have important conversations, out in the open.  More than anything else, your behavior and the behavior of the other members of your leadership team will dictate whether or not people feel safe.




By: Tom O\’Dea